Tuesday, December 29: Surprise Witness
Everybody knows that the hardest-boiled guys are, in reverse order, investigative reporters, spies, cops, private eyes, and government documents librarians. Government documents librarians have to be tough because they deal with government documents. And none come tougher than Rob Lopresti.
He can’t tell us everything he knows—that would put us in danger. But he can tell us one thing: we never knew how close we actually came to … well, decide for yourself. The documents have now been partially declassified. But let’s hear from the man. Rob writes:
“Back in the 1970s the CIA prepared a Weekly Situation Report on International Terrorism for the President. Years ago the National Security Archive, a non-profit group, filed Freedom of Information Act requests to see some of them. When they received the December 17, 1974 report ALL of the pages were blacked out.
“So, what did the CIA tell President Gerald Ford that was so desperately secret it had to be kept from you and me and the other taxpayers even thirty years after the fact? As it happens, I can give you a partial answer, because it turned out that there was a copy in the Ford Presidential Library that leaves a vital page uncensored. You can see it below.”
NOW IT CAN BE TOLD
by the Central Intelligence Agency
Lovely intro, James. One day someone at a library where I worked asked whether we had classified documents in our depository collection. I laughed. “We have enough trouble getting them to send us tax forms!”
I want to make it clear that what I wrote above is not made up. That really was part of a CIA report to President Ford.
“You can’t be serious. No, really. You can’t be serious!”
(quote from Steve Martin. Seemed appropriate.)
Doubtless the “Martyrs” were “taken care of” by Claus’ crack security team, known by the code name “L’vs.” They may have sent the evildoers to “sleep with the salmon.”
How do I know? Well, I could tell ya but then I’d have to…
If you want to read about Santa’s crack security team I suggest “The Plot Against Santa Claus” by James Powell. Steve Hockensmith wrote a similar themed story, but I forget the title.
>L’vs…
(laughing)
Jeff, that’s one of the best lines!
Thanks! (And for once it wasn’t a misspelling!) Happy New Year!