YOU SAY YOU WANT A RESOLUTION
by Rob Lopresti
I resolve that in the year 2009 …
I will send a story out every month (although it may be an older, unpublished story, seeking a new market).
I will let no adverb pass into my story without passing a thorough exam to prove it is needed there.
Ditto for each use of the words very, got, frown, shrug, and sigh.
I will immediately stop reading any piece of fiction in which a character accurately senses that someone is watching him, unless it has been previously established that this story takes place in a universe in which magic works.
I will try to make my characters voices so distinctive that you don’t need to read “Joe said” to know it was Joe who spoke.
I will read at least one book each by some of the acknowledged masters of mystery fiction whom I have not yet Gotten Around To.
I will immediately stop reading any piece of fiction in which a character doesn’t call the cops for no good reason except that doing so would spoil the story.
I will make my funny blog entries funnier, and my serious ones more serious, and endeavor to make it clear which is which.
I will not buy any book online if a local bookstore can get it for me, unless and until Amazon starts organizing author readings in my town.
I will read more mystery blogs that don’t appear on Criminal Brief.
I will remove from my shelves the books I will never read, or never reread.
I will make a copy of any computer file I want to keep more than the day. Flash drives are cheap, self-flagellation is not.
I will immediately stop reading any story in which police officers refer to bullets fired from a shotgun, unless it has been previously established that the cops are too stupid to know shotguns shoot shot or slugs.
I will write more blog entries about the process of writing.
I will not buy books from chain stores until the owners of Barnes and Noble start banking in my town.
I will win an Edgar, a Shamus, or at the very least, a Pulitzer.
I will read more short stories.