Sunday, January 27: The A.D.D. Detective
eBOOK SILLINESS
by Leigh Lundin
I’ve written about eBooks, mobile cell phone novels, and readers such as the Amazon Kindle (that article most notable for having popularized the fabulous OmiBod). This week, I received two bits of eBook humor.
Medieval Tech Support |
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This YouTube video seems to be a Norse version of Monty Python.
Tip: Catch the English subtitles immediately near the top so you don’t have to skip back.
Introducing the BOOK |
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The new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade-named BOOK, is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It’s so easy to use, even a child can operate it.
Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere — even sitting in an armchair by the fire — yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.
Here’s how it works:
- A BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of recyclable paper, each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in correct sequence.
- BOOKs are described as solar-powered, but in fact, they become operable under many light sources.
- Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, BOOKs with more information simply use more pages. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.
- BOOKs may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening.
- BOOKs never crash or require rebooting, although, like other devices, they can become damaged by coffee spills or being dropped on a hard surface.
Special Features
- A browse feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish.
- Many come with an index feature, which pin-points the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.
- An optional BOOKmark accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session — even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOKmarks can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK.
- You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with optional programming tools, Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Styli (PENCILS).
Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave. BOOK‘s appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to invest. Look for a flood of new titles soon.
Credits
The BOOK came to me from mystery writer and promotional marketing author Janet Elaine Smith, creator of Promo Paks: Nearly Free Marketing Tips for Authors, just out in paperback. Her web sites are janetelainesmith.com and characters-welcome-websites.tripod.com. She has a St. Patrick’s Day cozy out, In St. Patrick’s Custody, a Patrick and Grace mystery.
Janet, in turn, received the BOOK from mystery writer Tony Burton of the Independent Authors Guild, author of the Pastor Wilson series and editor of Crime and Suspense.
As always, if you can help provide credit for material such as the YouTube video, please let us know.
BOOK. Love it. Made me laugh for the first time in a month. BOOK – never needs upgrading, boots instantly, and will work on any platform (hand).
Ever see the YouTube video about the kid who accidentally drops his buddy’s ipod in the toilet? Thats why I don’t wanna try those e-book thingies. I can take the BOOK to the throne with me. And to paraphrase the aformentioned video, this column was “Hilarious. Hilarious! Hilarious…”
Back in the sixties Isaac Asimov parodies The Double Helix in a short story called The Holmes-Ginsbook Device. In an age of computer storage these two scientists invented a new way of holding information — well, you get the idea.
Naturally I had to go looking, Jeff. I had no idea how many people drop their iPods in the toilet! There’s even a company with the most disgusting web page that rescues wet iPods. Ugh.
This video is cleverly done:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z5LFDBoB-s
I too enjoyed the column Leigh. I agree with Jeff when it comes to ‘real’ books, which I’ve been known to read under less than ideal lighting conditions. One of life’s many pleasures is being able to hold a book in my hands, turn the pages at my leisure, and sometimes find it next to me in bed because I’ve fallen asleep while reading.
That (video) was fun! (The one I had in mind was the “Dylan’s Couch” episode “The i-Pod”) Like I said, I’m no techie! I’m lucky I can send e-mails! And to bring this back to our usual subject, it looks like e-submissions will be the wave of the future. Any good mystery magazines online??
There are, Jeff, Crime & Suspense (mentioned above) being one. I believe Rob or Steve mentioned ezines as well. Also, for the broad view, see James’ column of Monday, 28 January:
https://criminalbrief.com/?p=519
Dylan’s Couch … too funny. He’s a good storyteller. At the same time I was laughing, I was sooo grateful he wasn’t my kid!
http://www.dylanscouch.com/
I received word that Janet Elaine Smith’s husband, Ivan, died yesterday. Our best wishes to you, Janet.