And YOU THINK AMAZON is only about BOOKS
by Leigh Lundin
Business classes teach about horizontal and vertical integration. Say you’re a bookstore, and you expand by carrying music and movies by buying a competitor. That’s lateral expansion, otherwise called horizontal integration.
If you bought a book printing company, as Amazon did with its controversial BookSurge, you’ve moved into vertical integration as you try to control the supply chain.
Amazon has not remained idle. It’s expanded horizontally into electronics, appliances, clothing, beauty supplies, jewelry, sporting goods, and groceries. Here are a few useful items you might find on Amazon– be sure to click the images to check the reviews!
Yes, your very own tank, the ‘Donc’. Granted it looks like it was built for the Civil War, but hey, it has rubber wheels, lush carpeting, and a full blown stereo! If only they would come up with a green hybrid-fuel version!
I have only one disappointment with this model, its inability to detect black helicopters. Its sideband scanner will, however, pick up evil aliens, although for some reason it’s triggered by Gloria Allred.
I have no clue what this is for, but this hot item received a glowing recommendation. It maintains a biologically germ-free environment, giving butter a half-life of 1.2 million years.
Have you always wanted to practice acupuncture on your hog but found your swine flew? The anatomically correct Acupuncture Pig is your solution. Note: The model number, SM-9, might be a clue to the pig’s perception.
The Weener Kleener is an, ah, extension of soap-on-a-rope, which seems to be a key to avoiding a rank frank. Word has it this slick product has been thoroughly tested by our cocky reader, alisa. (The instructions suggest that if the product becomes stuck, to apply cold water.)
If you didn’t think five pounds (2-1/4kg) of artificial fat wasn’t weird enough, take a look at the price. A hundred bucks for fake fat? What is wrong with America? Why should we buy slimy simulants at $20 a pound, when we can consume real, wholesome kosher fat for a fraction of the price.
A couple of times I’ve ordered used books from Amazon. Sometimes the pages are more yellow than white, but that’s to be expected. Unfortunately, Amazon’s pre-owned Tuscan milk isn’t something you want to order. The reviews for this product are downright literary.
My first thought was of the oMiBod (which I bet we sold a lot of) for the BDSM crowd. Frankly, I don’t know what the hell this is other than it comes from Korea. Batteries not included.