Tuesday, June 2: Surprise Witness
Ladies and gentlemen, cowboys and cowgirls, please give it up for the return of Travis Erwin. A prolific blogger in his own right (follow the link on his name), his last contribution to Criminal Brief can be found here.
—JLW
INNOCENT UNTIL …
by Travis Erwin
Here I am guest blogging at Criminal Brief.
Oh, I hear your doubt-filled exclamations.
But Travis, you don’t write Crime Fiction! Short or long! Heck, you don’t even write True Crime!
True, true and even more true, but I can explain my presence here in two answers.
- 1. My good friend Debbie asked me to stand in her place for a week and those that know Debbie realize just how hard saying no to her can be.
2. Why the hell not?
Several years back, Kinky Freidman used that phrase as his campaign slogan while running for Governor here in the great state of Texas, and since he is a crime writer of a sort, I think it quite appropriate that I use it now.
Besides, I hate labels and being pigeonholed by demographics. I hate when artificial limitations are placed on anyone. If a single man wants to crochet doilies and sing show tunes he should have the right without others making certain assumptions. And if a witty, songwriting, cigar puffing, literary funny man wants to run for political office who’s to say he shouldn’t.
Okay, lots of people said he shouldn’t by way of their votes, but for the record I wasn’t one of them. Yes, I voted for a man named Kinky, and I’m proud of it. The political snobs, those who scoff at every candidate not chained to an affiliated party, ridiculed Kinky. Called him a buffoon, a joke, an unworthy candidate.
Oh, but that nose-in-the-air attitude isn’t reserved to the political world. No, it is present in nearly all facets of life and I blame that blatant snobbery for one of my lest favorite terms. A term that I see bandied about quite often these days. And the term is –- Guilty Pleasure.
I urge everyone — do not use the words GUILTY PLEASURE to describe the things you enjoy just because they are not considered chic, debonair, or even classy. Stand up and tell the world you like to drink Two-Buck Chuck, even if everyone around you is sipping fifty dollar bottles of Chardonnay. Proudly admit you get down to 50 Cent even if all of your friends believe “real” music is created by a dude in a tuxedo waving a little stick at his minions. And don’t, I repeat — DO NOT — be ashamed by your love of genre fiction, whether it be mystery, romance, sci-fi, or some other classification considered unsavory by those who chase MFAs. Sure all the awards go to the 700 page epics fraught with inner-turmoil and emotional angst, but I ask? Who brings home the bacon?.
Don’t get me wrong, I too desire a swim in the languid waters of beautiful prose, hidden metaphors, and subtler spun conflicts. But is there shame in belly flopping into a goold ‘ol pond of a story? Should I apologize for laughing at an absurd Hiaasen character stuck in an even more absurd situation? Must I beg forgiveness for wanting to see how Stephanie Plum will destroy her next car, or if she will finally choose Ranger or Morelli? And must I confess and say three Hail Mary’s for wanting to glean a few new bedroom maneuvers from the latest Jennifer Crusie novel?
I say no. I refuse to use the world guilty to describe these pleasures. It’s not a crime to read and enjoy genre fiction. It’s not against the law to escape into a fictional world of car chases, forbidden love, or the dusty west. And yes, sometimes it’s downright pleasurable to try and figure out whodunnit long before the author is willing to share the secret.
So I say, stop using the term guilty pleasure in order justify your likes. Proclaim your opinion. Even if if you think Big Brother or Rock of Love are the best shows on television. Stand up and admit you never were able to finish reading Ulysses. And go ahead use, snuck in a sentence. Who am I to say you shouldn’t, as long as you get your point across to those reading your words. What is a great literature? I say it’s any book that delivers on its promise to its target audience
Guilty pleasure …. hmmph. I spit at the description.
Pedophiles, drug addicts, and AIG execs. Now those are people with guilty pleasures.
All Right, all right, all right. I do watch an occassional reality TV show. But I don’t really enjoy them. I promise.
In NJ, 2 buck chuck is 3 bucks, lol! Cost of living, I guess. Love this article. I love cheap wine, Harper’s Island, and Chunkie candy bars!
Whew! I feel better already!
I know more about American Idol than my wife and most of the women in my office. Deal with it!
So, reading this column was a pleasure – guilty or otherwise.
NPR recently featured a ‘famous writer’ who admitted liking the Twilight books and the movie, but said he hoped to see more adult males in the audience.
I have never felt guilty about anything although I have often been told that I should. Now I will have this column to show those who frown at me when I light up my pipe or pour a double shot of Gordon’s gin.
Terrific post, Travis! I love your definition of great literature.
Travis, you crack me up. Now, can we talk about you crocheting some doilies? The only pleasure I ever refer to as guilty is my love of chocolate. Every time I eat a piece I feel oh so guilty!
Ha! I just started reading a Stephanie Plum book last night. Spy sent the entire series to me when she discovered I hadn’t read them. Guilty pleasure indeed!
Charles – Come on, take it all the way brother. Which reality shows?
Mrs. B – 2 bucks or 3 bucks. Either way it ‘spretty tasty.
Driller A – That’s what I’m talking about!
Corey – Thank you for the kind words.
Leigh – Yeah, but he still referred to as a guilty pleasure. He should shrug away the guilt.
Dick – I’m not sure any of my brain spewings should be used for justification of anything. But having said that, puff and pour away my friend.
LOL! Yes! I couldn’t agree more! (off to work on revising my young adult fantasy novel…)
A friend of mine in Houston voted for Kinky Friedman; I would have, too, if I still lived in Texas. He made the most sense and isn’t a slimeball.
Three-Buck Chuck (how much it costs in the Greater Baltimore/DC area) IS good. While Virgil and Juvenal rock, I read STAR TREK novels. I love kosher hotdogs and McD’s french fries. My favorite TV network is ESPN;my preferred news shows, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. I want to learn to play hockey–Go RedWings!–so I’ve started ice skating lessons at age 42. And I worship in the Church of Baseball, meaning I do yoga while listening to either Vin Scully or Jon Miller.
Namaste, y’all.
Nice article!
All my “guilty pleasures” seem to be food related. Pass the cheesecake.
You neverfail to amaze me. Loved the column!
I never have been able to finish War and Peace. Does that count?
Love my southern coffee, food and expressions. No guilt involved.
Nice post, Travis.
Very interesting post indeed!
Kinky Friedman makes more sense than the present governor!
What killed Kinky’s election process was inviting Jesse Ventura into the game.
I loved your column!
My guilty pleasure is that I love boxing. I have my favorites and college football. I scare Max the mini-dach while helping my boxer and my teams. Husband is used to me.
Thanks for allowing me to admit my pleasure. I didn’t know I was supposed to feel guilty though.
I agree – what’s the point in being guilty about pleasure.
Of course, then, look what I write for a living, LOL.
It’s also why I think the word “diet” should be erased from the dictionary. I bought lots of nice fresh fruits and veggies at the store today — and a half dozen cupcakes. woot!
Sam
I was here. Great column Travis. You are indeed a talented man. Keep up the good work.
You just carry on gleaning the new bedroom maneuvers all you want. The wife will have expectations by now!
If you’re taken to task for it, Just say you’re doing it for the venerable institution of marriage.
Or just tell ’em you’ll do what ever the hell you want.
Great post, Travis! And I wholeheartedly agree. If everyone liked the same things, then life would be quite boring.
Loved the post, Travis. I vow never to feel guilty about my pleasures again!
I like your way of thinking.
I finished War and Peace, but I confess I never got pass page 3 of Ulysses.
Loved it! Let’s remember that Dickens, Twain and Mozart wrote for the masses! Oh, and I proudly proclaim “Ben 10” as a guilty pleasure!
I love hackery. I use “snuck.” I found Graceland a memorable, spiritual experience. TCB, Trav!
So, you ask, “What is great literature?'” and I. being of Irish descent answer a question with a question: “Who is a great blogger?
The answer to that question is: TRAVIS ERWIN.
Excellent post.
Terrie
Amen, brother! I like Cheetos, Disney World and two-dollar bargain shirts from Target. I read and write fantasy and don’t give a crap what the MFA’s think of me.
Well written-
well SAID, Travis!
You funny AND make sense-
Aloha
Hey, Travis, how do I know it’s really you–I’ve never seen you without your fish?