Friday, July 4: Bandersnatches
WRITING ON THE FOURTH
by Steve Steinbock
For those of us living in the United States of America, today is our nation’s birthday. To our British cousins, well, our George beat your George, but that was a long time ago, so we can still be friends.
Back in the 1700s, air conditioning meant swinging your shutters open or sitting on a chunk of ice. It’s been a warm week in Maine, and I keep my office in the attic of my home. It’s not air conditioned. I know it’s time to take a break when my fingers start sliding off the keys.
Last week in my column I wrote that I was applying myself to fiction writing. I’ve been at it a little bit every day. Sometimes with a little extra emphasis on little bit. But I’m making progress. A new coffee shop opened in town. (I live in a village of just over 8,000 people, so a new coffee shop is a big deal). The place is called The Royal Bean because my town is situated on the Royal River. Nearly every day I pack up my laptop and drive down to the Royal Bean, order a drink, and do some work.
Incidentally, in Salem’s Lot, Stephen King mentions several geographical landmarks surrounding the vampire-cursed village, including the Royal River. A careful reading of the book suggested to me that if Salem’s Lot were a real place, it’s probably right here in my backyard.
In our discussions last month about gender differences, I don’t think anyone mentioned how men and women order coffee differently. It would be interesting to do a scientific inquiry on coffee drinks and gender. My assumption is that the word “caramel” would appear disproportionally in women’s orders. Men tend to enjoy their coffee unadulterated. That’s just my theory.
But let’s talk about stories for a moment.
I’ve long held that the word myth gets a bad rap. To me, a myth is a story that has been repeated for three or more generations, and is repeated primarily to illustrate some value or moral. Legends exist for the sake of the stories themselves, whereas myths are there for the message they teach. I have to make another qualification: myths are similar to fables in terms of their function. The difference is that cute furry animals keep to the realm of fables, while humans, and sometimes human-like gods, are the movers and shakers of mythdom.
I don’t know if Augustine Washington ever owned any cherry trees, but I highly doubt that his son George ever chopped one down as a child. Yet the story of young George and his honesty in admitting his transgression persists in American culture in order to trick kids into confessing to their parents. Hence, it’s a myth.
My Criminal Brief colleague Rob Lopresti has a cute song on his CD based on an old Hebrew myth involving the Israelite exodus from Egypt. The people were faced with a choice: Pharaoh’s angry army at one side, and a sea at the other. They were frozen with fear. Either way seemed to lead to doom. But one guy named Nachshon, knowing that the only way was forward, waded into the sea until the waters parted.
The legend has a funny source: In the Bible, in Exodus 15:11, there is what appears to be a spelling discrepancy. In praising God, the Israelites utter the line “Who is like You?” twice. The first time, the word “like you” (it’s one word in Hebrew, khamokha) is spelled with a hard “H” sound, or a soft “Kh” sound, like someone clearing his throat. The second time, it’s spelled with a hard “K” sound (kamokha). The ancient rabbis, unwilling to admit that the Torah contains spelling errors, created the story of Nachshon.
See, Nachshon was saying these words as he waded into the sea. He knew that there was no turning back, and that the future was before him. So he kept persevering as the water rose to his chest. Then, as he was repeating “Mee kamokha, who is like you?” a big wave splashed him in the face and he got a mouth full of saltwater. He choked on the word kamokha so that it came out as (khamokha). And with that, the gates of water opened up and the Israelites marched to freedom.
As I struggle to write my story, I’m reminded that the only way forward is forward, and behind me is only enslavement. I may get wet. I may get a few mouths full of saltwater. It may take me forty years to finish my damn story, but the only way is forward.
To quote Rob:
Now maybe you face a problem, big as the whole Red Sea
Maybe the enemy’s on your trail or do they just seem to be?
If you’ve got faith then use it. If not, try courage alone
Pray like it’s all in the hands of God, but work like it’s all in your own.
And this day in particular reminds me why I (we) have the right to write.
Happy 4th of July!
Steve,
Excellent column and as Alissa points out and excellent day to remind us about our freedom to write.
Great luck with the story. I always have to remind myself that, deadlines not withstanding, writing is not a race for hares, but a race for tortoises.
Terrie
Wow, Steve, thanks for the kind words. And who doesn’t love being quoted (accurately)?
I didn’t know the story about Khamoka. My thought was that the story came about because Nachshon, in his one mention in the Bible is given an unusual title (prince?) and that needed an explanation. Of course, both explanations can be true.
And speaking of slow writing, it was 13 years after I heard the story of Nachshon (at the first Passover seder I attended in Washington state) that I finally thought “hey, that could be a song.” I’m proud to say it has been sung at seders where no one ever heard of me. (Ever writer of “folk songs” dreams of being mistaken for Trad.)
As many people have said, if you write a page a day at the end of a year, you have a book. Or in my case, 365 pages in desperate need of a rewrite.
Happy Independence Day.
Every fourth of July, to honor the history of our country, and George Washington in particular, I travel to California, vandalize something in Jim Warren’s yard, then blame it on T. Jefferson Parker.
Long live tradition!
Guyot is such a liar.
Going forward is the best way Steve! Oh, and a Founding Father note: Benj. Franklin was named after an ancestor who was basicaly an early-American journalistic sensationalist. (I read his account of a sea-serpent sighting years ago in an anthology of sea stories!) Happy 4th!
Happy 4th to you and yours and all my friends her at Criminal Brief.
Terrie, great insight about the Hare. I should have thought of that myself!
Rob, the Bible referred to Nachshon as a “Nasi,” which has a broad meaning ranging from “prince” to “official.” In modern Hebrew, that’s what they call government ministers. That particular legend is probably the most brilliant explanation for a misspelling in the history of writing.
By the way, here’s a bit of biblical trivia for you all to enjoy on this Fourth. Pull out your copy of the King James Bible. (This doesn’t work with any other translation). Then find Psalm 46. Count 46 words from the beginning and 46 words from the end in order to find out the secret author of the Bible. This is a great trick that even James Randi would appreciate. And it proves without a doubt that the Bible translators have a sense of humor.
I’m surprised no one challenged me on the male/female coffee generalization I made.
And can someone please explain to me why African American cigarette smokers overwhelmingly prefer menthol? (70-79% depending on which study you read).
I’m surprised no one challenged me on the male/female coffee generalization I made…….
Mainly because I am a French Vanilla chick…..no caramel.
As for menthol, long ago when I (tried) smoking, menthol was more addictive. I didn’t get addicted to them because they hurt to enhale! I failed to get the hang of smoking nonstop, but I was into the habit enough it was certainly hard to give up. I’m glad I did.
Oh, speaking of the two Georges, there is a pretty good novel called The Two Georges, by Harry Turtledovc and Richard Dreyfuss. RD is, of course, the actor, and HT is a history professor who is a master of alternative history novels. This is a crime novel in which a terrorist group is threatening to steal the famous painting of the scene in which King George III met with George Washington and signed the papers which have kept the colonies part of the Brritish empire for 200 years….
I didn’t get addicted to them because they hurt to inhale!
Which only goes to show that some people are much smarter than others. It took a heart attack for me to give up smoking.
The preference of African-Americans for menthol cigarettes, especially Kool cigarettes, is due largely to shameless and aggressive “sector marketing”. It’s rather like Benson & Hedges attempting to appear more sophisticated, Marlboro attempting to appear more masculine, and Camel attempting to appear more avant-garde than other brands—but especially similar to Virginia Slims targeting of women by means of feminist rhetoric.
Here’s a link with information on a lawsuit filed in 1998 alleging that tobacco companies deliberately targeted the sale of menthol cigarettes to African-Americans.
Richard Dreyfus wrote a book with Harry Turtledove?!? Now that sounds like alternative history.
One of my favorite guilty pleasure movies is “Hello Down There,” a musical starring Tony Randall, in which a very young Richard appears in a big role.
In fact, here’s a coincidence: in and episode of Bewitched, Dreyfus played a guy who was hot for Samantha. Our very own High-Heeled Gumshoe Melodie played a girl with the hots for Darrin. (Melodie, correct me if I got anything wrong).
JLW: Who were cigarette marketers targeting with the Tareyton “rather fight than switch” ad campaign?
Actually, I would detest caramel in my coffee. Just a dab of cream please.
Interesting and educational post; and Happy Independence Day to my neighbours and readers at Criminal Brief.
Who were cigarette marketers targeting with the Tareyton “rather fight than switch” ad campaign?
Pugilists.
Alisa: caramel or french vanilla or hazelnut, I don’t understand why anyone would add any flavor to their coffee. But then again, my wife’s favorite coffee flavor is, are you ready? pumpkin!
Barbara: you’re my kind of coffee drinker. And happy belated Canada Day.
James: This is a fun game matching obscure cigarette brands to their targets. Then what about True, with the weird plastic filters?
… what about True, with the weird plastic filters?
Prosthetists.
Didja hear about the wannabe folk singer who was close but no Seeger??? (I’m blowing smoke and bad puns! But I did quit smoking cigars long ago!)
And what’s wrong with “pumpkin” flavor? It is how I get my vegetables. On a serious side, good on those who have quit smoking!