POETICAL PLAY

by Leigh Lundin

In the era before television and video games, nursemaids, mothers, and teachers employed poems and word play to get their children thinking about words and their meanings, and of course Shakespeare loved playing with words. You may have noticed that most of us at Criminal Brief enjoy word games too.

Recently, I received a pair of eMails involving word play. Usually, I check the web to determine if I can accredit the works to anyone and to my surprise, what had been a simple word list was actually part of a poem by J T O’Leary, according to his daughter Caroline.

• The English Language
•     ^by J T O’Leary
•  
• We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
•     But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
• One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
•     Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
• You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
•     Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
•  
• If the plural of man is always called men,
•     Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
• If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
•     And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
• If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
•     Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
•  
• Then one may be that, and three would be those,
•     Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
•     And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
• We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
•     But though we say mother, we never say methren.
• Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
•     But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

When I was little, my mother insisted there was a stirrup, hammer, and anvil in my ear. I had serious doubts. Here is a folk rhyme that explores the body.

• Non-sensical Sense
•     folk rhyme
•  
• How far will you fall when you fall asleep?
•     Could you walk on the bridge of your nose?
• Could you ever play the drums in your ears
•     Or drive the nails of your fingers and toes?
•  
• Could you play ball with the ball of your foot?
•     Could your blood vessels sail on the sea?
• Could you feed corns to the calf of your leg?
•     Or try wearing the cap of your knee?
•  
• Could you walk under the arch of your foot?
•     Could you make your hair fat if it’s thin?
• If a king wanted the crown of your head,
•     Do you think you would give it to him?
•  
• Could your eye teeth take the place of your eyes?
•     Could your shoulder blade cut like a knife?
• Could you shingle the roof of your mouth
•     If you tried for the rest of your life?

I leave you with another American folk rhyme with similar theme.

• Foolish Questions
•     ^by William Cole
•  
• Where can a man buy a cap for his knee?
•     Or a key for the lock of his hair?
• And can his eyes be called a school?
•     I would think—there are pupils there!
•  
• What jewels are found in the crown of his head,
•     And who walks on the bridge of his nose?
• Can he use, in building the roof of his mouth,
•     The nails on the ends of his toes?
•  
• Can the crook of his elbow be sent to jail?
•     If it can, well, then, what did it do?
• And how does he sharpen his shoulder blades?
•     I’ll be hanged if I know—do you?
•  
• Can he sit in the shade of the palm of his hand,
•     And beat time with the drum in his ear?
• Can the calf of his leg eat the corn on his toe?
•     There’s somethin’ pretty strange around here!