Saturday, April 2: Mississippi Mud
HEY, YOU! YES, YOU!!
by John M. Floyd
As you probably realize by now, we Criminal Brief folks occasionally veer off the plainly marked mystery/crime/suspense pathway to cavort in the wildflowery fields of other subjects. This is one of those detours. I invite you today to relive with me those incredibly dull high-school classes where I stared out the window and dreamed of — ah, excuse me, what I meant to say was, those fascinating high-school classes where we were instructed in the proper use of punctuation and grammar. My previous columns in that area have covered topics like apostrophes, hyphens, colons, and semicolons. This time we’ll be discussing — tell me it ain’t so! — the exclamation point.
It’s such a diabolical mark of punctuation it’s not called a mark at all, except in England, and what do they know about English anyway? I actually find the name “point” to be appropriate, since it’s something that, if misused, can jab you squarely in your writing career, and puncture any dream you might’ve once entertained about selling what you’ve so lovingly created.
In fact, misuse in this case almost always means overuse. Sprinkling your writing with too many exclamation points is fine if you’re passing love notes in study hall, or even e-mailing your old college buddy (I consider e-mails to be about as formal as shouting down a dormitory hallway anyhow, which is one reason I enjoy e-mailing). But if you’re writing a manuscript for a short story or novel, or composing a cover letter to an editor or a query letter to an agent or publisher, make sure you leave those exclamation points at the bottom of your writer’s toolbox, where they belong. Now and then, someone in your story will need to say “Your hair’s on fire!” or “Look out — it’s a werewolf!” or “Halt or I’ll shoot!” or “The dog peed on the sandwiches!” If so, dig one out and plug it in. But that shouldn’t happen often.
Don’t take my word for it. Here are some views from those in the know:
Noah Lukeman, A Dash of Style: “The exclamation point has been referred to as ‘the period that blew its top’ . . . it’s the bright green dress, the flaming pink scarf. There may be an occasion, once every five years, when it’s needed; until then, like those clothes, it’s best left in the closet.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald: “An exclamation mark is like laughing at your own joke.”
Renni Browne and Dave King, Self-Editing for Fiction Writers: “Exclamation points should be reserved for moments when a character is physically shouting (or experiences the mental equivalent). When you use them frequently, you begin to look as if you are trying desperately to infuse your dialogue or narration with an excitement it lacks.”
Strunk and White, The Elements of Style: “The exclamation mark is to be reserved for use after true exclamations or commands.”
H. W. Fowler: “An excessive use of exclamation marks is a certain indication of an unpracticed writer or of one who wants to add a spurious dash of sensation to something unsensational.”
Noah Lukeman, The First Five Pages: “The abundance of exclamation points is usually an indicator of melodrama.”
Lynne Truss, Eats, Shoots, and Leaves: “Ever since it came along, grammarians have warned us to be wary of the exclamation mark, mainly because, even when we try to muffle it with brackets (!), it still shouts, flashes like neon, and jumps up and down.”
Patricia T. O’Conner, Woe Is I: “The exclamation point is like the horn on your car — use it only when you have to.”
That’s good advice. I don’t remember our English teachers telling us that, but they should have. Or maybe they did, while I was staring out the window . . .
I can’t end this discussion without mentioning the use of exclamation points in the titles of movies. Here are a few that come to mind:
Hatari!
Airplane!
That Thing You Do!
Mamma Mia!
Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot
Oliver!
The Informant!
Hello, Dolly!
Mars Attacks!
Oklahoma!
Help!
McLintock!
Tora! Tora! Tora!
You’ll notice that all of them except the last one are comedies or musicals or at least lighthearted fare; the exclamation point’s presence is almost a signal not to take the subject too seriously. And I can’t think of a single one of those titles that wouldn’t have looked better without the punctuation — except maybe Help!. Or Airplane! There isn’t anything I’d want to change about Airplane!.
In summary, think of it this way: in writing, as in real life, don’t shout unless it’s necessary. Use exclamation points only when the baby’s coming, or when the brakes fail going downhill, or when that thing poking out of the water turns out to be a shark’s fin. Otherwise, keep calm and write accordingly. A cobra’s escaped from the Bronx Zoo? They’ll find it. Stop that screaming.
Everyone will take you — and your work — more seriously.
A column on punctuation makes an old English teacher nostalgic.
Janice, my own English teachers from long ago would pass out if they knew I’d written a column about punctuation.
By the way, I discovered at least two punctuation errors in this piece after I’d submitted it to JLW. I should’ve paid more attention in those classes . . .
I was once in a writing group in which the woman giving the critique casually flung my violent murder mystery story back at me with a sneer. “I never finished reading it. You used exclamation points,” she said, looking down her nose at me. “You can’t use exclamation points in modern fiction. Ever.”
I frowned, then lunged across the table and screamed hysterically “SHUT THE HELL UP, BITCH” followed by a softly spoken “…*comma* ‘he said’? You honestly think that a statement like that one — shouted hysterically by a psychotic killer coming after a woman with a knife — can be expressed without an exclamation point?”
True, overusing an EP is indeed (sorry for this) a killer. But used correctly (sorry times two) it makes its point….
The only acceptable place for exclamation points is in dialogue, and then only if the situation and character warrant it. I’ve used them, albeit sparingly, in almost all the fiction I’ve written, and I’ve never had an editor complain about them.
Aside from Joseph’s point that e.p.s are consistent with screaming homicidal maniacs (although I might note that I myself would NEVER PUT DIALOGUE IN ALL CAPS EVEN IF THE CHARACTER WAS SHOUTING, even though J. K. Rowling seems to have done all right with that particular trick), I can think of another emotion which is suitably expressed by an e.p., and that is enthusiasm, especially if it is that species of bubbly enthusiasm that most people hate being exposed to early in the morning before they’ve had their coffee. In that case, the e.p. is deliberately in bad taste, so it works just fine.
Joseph’s tale cracked me up!!!! Okay, I overdid it.
I add another case to James’ example. I have a story in which an explanation point occurs after the first word:
Blam!
As for J. K. Rowling, she’s done many things we’re all taught not to do (a great many substitutes for said, a lot of “ly” adverbs with dialogue, etc., etc.), and — as JLW points out — has done fairly well. As for me, overuse of exclamation points is something I have to consciously work hard to avoid, because I’m fond of screams and shouts and BLAMs. And yes, sometimes an e.p. is the only way to go.
Great column and it wasn’t about the movies.
I think another overused mark or two marks is ?!.
Thanks, Melodie.
Actually, I suppose part of it was about the movies. I can’t seem to resist that . . .
GREAT ARTICLE!!!!!!
The only thing I disagree with is that J.K. Rowlings has done more than, well…well.
And some little old place FINALLY (excuse my screaming) took her work and eventually they all made scads of money.
My personal opinion is that almost anything “can” sell. It depends on many things and sometimes more than what you know (or have written)but the people you “know”.
Some people are punction snobs. Some aren’t. Readers just wanna have fun.
This was a good article. I enjoy the diversity of punction use and how each writer, editor, reader, teacher, etc identify…or don’t.
Thanks.
Thanks, alisa, for those thoughts. You’re right, it’s hard to tell what will sell and what won’t, and why.
I certainly agree that readers are more interested in a good story (having fun) than in proper punctuation. But the truth is, these days you can write the best story in the world, but if it contains too many punctuation errors, an editor/publisher won’t read far enough to find out it’s the best story in the world. It’ll get rejected and no “real” reader will ever see it. I’m convinced that as writers we owe it to ourselves to learn the grammar basics and put them to use in our submissions.
I am, as you have probably figured out, a Rowling fan. Even if her books weren’t wonderful (and they are), she’d still be a hero (heroine?) to me because of the fact that she’s made reading fun for a huge number of children who probably wouldn’t otherwise be reading at all.
One more thing: I’ve heard “punctuation snobs” say Hemingway should’ve used about ten times the number of commas than the number he used, in his stories and novels. But (like Rowling) he did pretty well.
John, I agree with you on all levels. I read your article after blessing Leigh’s heart and had too many thoughts rambling through my head I suppose.
I think many “readers” are into instant gratification and thus puts the kindle (and other ereaders) out there for such. I admit I own one and never thought I’d like it, but I do.
I buy books I want to keep and pass to my grandchildren both literary and not-so-literary. Many are history books.
There are many authors who have self-pubbed through ereader method and I have no problem with reading their work if it catches my eye. I download. I often wonder why they couldln’t get through the dog-eat-dog editorial world, but realize that is a writer’s life. Their books are sometimes better than those multi-pubbed authors. But then who am I to say why– I’m a mere reader (who will buy self pubbed material).
I have found I don’t really expect as much out of those as I do a book I’ve paid way more money for and contains errors. In other words, my punctuation grammar alisa snob relaxes.
I love books that have dialogue true to the character and setting. I guess that’s why I hate PC. Life has changed, but to forget from whence it came is downright wrong. That of course, is my opinion and it is totally biased. That’s okay, I can live with it.
Thank goodness I have copies of the real books I’ve saved for hopefully generations to come in my family.
I think I strayed from your article. I love Hemingway’s work. Never once thought of a comma.
The end. (I promise)
Never read Rowling, just not my cuppa, but I love her books for the same reason it brought about many young readers.
Okay, so it wasn’t the end….