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Sunday, April 17: The A.D.D. Detective

PAGES of STORIES, Part II
A Locked Room Mystery

by Leigh Lundin with John M. Floyd

Fair warning: Leigh and I teamed up again this weekend for a two-part column honoring the electronic magazine Pages of Stories, which thus far features two Criminal Brief writers. At Leigh’s suggestion, my article Saturday contained a reprint of one of my mystery stories, “Weekend Getaway,” that appeared last summer in an early issue of PoS.

Darlene Poier
Darlene Poier

Pages of Stories is a publication without borders. The first anniversary issue contains tales from Canada, Britain, France, South Africa, and the US. To celebrate Pages of Stories’ first birthday, publisher Darlene Poier is giving away three subscriptions. One of those recipients could be YOU. Winners will be chosen from those who comment, so be sure we have your up-to-date eMail address.

And now, we turn to Leigh, who will tell us about a brilliant locked room mystery appearing in the latest issue of Pages of Stories. ‘Untenable’ will be the first story to be serialized in PoS over three issues. And now (drumroll…), here’s Leigh:

Untenable

by Leigh LundinLeigh Lundin

The Locked Room

Classic conundrum: In an otherwise empty locked room, a man’s found hanged: no chair, no table, only a puddle of water on the floor. How did he die?[1]

Many of us love clever locked-room mysteries, with emphasis on ‘clever’. Readers don’t want to feel cheated by impossible means, secret trap doors, ultra hi-tech dilithium, paranormal magic, or deus ex machina. We don’t mind being fooled, but fool us fairly.

Researching methods for this murder mystery took me far afield, ranging from security firms, to food service companies, to Russian submarines– you can’t get more of a locked room than an underwater steel tube. Unfortunately, friends declined the honor of testing the means of death, so I relied on other accounts to back up my story.

Family Handyman shelter

To truly make a locked room inaccessible, I placed my victim in a safe room. After all, they’re constructed to protect someone under attack and keep them, well, safe. More on that in a moment.

The Prosecutor, Andrew Dale

One of the characters in Untenable is a government lawyer named Andrew Dale who bears a striking similarity to Ellery Queen writer and government lawyer, Dale Andrews. That’s no accident because Dale contributed to the story in several ways, not the least being encouragement.

I keep extensive notes on topics that might contribute to stories. When I visited Dale in Washington, we drew from these notes and pieced together a pretty clever plot for a YA novel. The only problem is we need six months on a desert isle with someone handing us piña coladas and paying the bills. I’d still like to do that story some day. Hmm… uncovering a severed hand chained to a briefcase… But I digress.

So we talked about a short story project. I dug into my box of goodies again and came up with an unusual plot and motive and shared it with Dale. This time a different problem arose. Once motive and method juxtaposed in my brain, my little grey cells started writing the story faster than I could get it down on paper. Phoning Dale, I said this story’s in my head and I can’t stop writing it.

Dale understood. Hours later, I’d finished a draft. After deburring rough edges, I sent a version to him to critique.

He pointed out that in one passage, someone under stress is unlikely to write certain phrases. Rather than struggle to come up with realistic dying words, Dale proposed an elegant solution– turn it into an Ellery Queen clue. The story already contained a nod to Ellery Queen and Dale suggested it might be gracious to get the family’s permission. I fired off an eMail and waited… and waited.

As you’ll discover, the story’s motive is time sensitive and I chafed as weeks and then months dragged by without response. Finally Dale and I concurred: screw it. The mention of Ellery Queen was only a couple of sentences, nothing to fret about and certainly not worth the agony of losing our time frame.

With Dale having contributed to the spark and the spirit, I wanted him to be part of the story. That’s why the mentoring prosecutor bears an uncanny resemblance to award nominee and my friend, Dale Andrews.

Elasticity of Death

The story combines a whodunit, a howdunit, and a whydunit. From research, I discovered my seemingly obscure motive isn’t statistically obscure at all. When circumstances provide for such an impetus to be brought into play, in English-speaking countries alone, up to 5% of ‘natural’ deaths may be, shall we say, ‘helped along’.

One in twenty could be a high figure, but even the most conservative studies suggest a minimum of 2%. That’s an astonishing number for a motive most people aren’t aware of, but I must not say more at the risk of spoiling the tale.

Gaffco safe room

The Victim and the Locked Room

Demetrius Tantalous is a singularly unpleasant and unhappy man. Blindly jealous of his brother, he’s shocked when he inherits his brother’s estate, including a butler, a Maybach, and a Gramercy Park brownstone. Then, he learns, someone wants to kill him.

They start by sending him eMails that he’ll die at a given hour on a given date. Demetrius thinks they’re friggin’ lunatics and he’s frustrated police can’t find the nemesis. But Demetrius has a card up his sleeve:

Plan B. He knew one thing the lunatic hadn’t counted on. Hell, he’d lived here five months before he discovered it.

Off to one side of a fireplace nestled an executive washroom in antique brass and porcelain with an inset pocket door. For five months, Demetrius hadn’t bothered closing the door, but one afternoon as he sat on the toilet, he found himself pondering the decorative brass next to the jamb. The wall’s opposite side bore no matching brightwork, making the ornamentation seem out of place. When he stretched to press a rivet that appeared loose, to his amazement, the door slammed shut with a pneumatic swoosh followed by clangs as pins inset into the floor and lintel.

Demetrius rocked back as if it tried to bite him. Dropping his cigar in the sink, he studied the door’s machine-milled brass surface. His first thought was of a hidden vault, but after a few minutes consideration, Demetrius realized this must be a safe room doubling as a half bath. Friggin’ clever.

He hooked his suspenders and washed before pressing the button again. Pins retracted and the heavy door swooshed open. For the first time, Demetrius noticed a neoprene seal around the frame and threshold. The walls looked eight or nine inches thick and sounded solid when he rapped them. Demetrius bet they were constructed of concrete block and rebar. Airtight, too, judging from the seals, except for a small rectangular vent high against the ceiling on the side nearest the fireplace.

The safe room discovery explained another mystery, why the builder jammed the sink and toilet against the wall to the right of the entrance but left a larger area to the left open. Now he understood the reason the room contained several electrical outlets, a phone jack, and an Ethernet connection. Someone under siege could nap on cots or unfold a couple of chairs and a work table.

A man couldn’t be too safe and Demetrius liked comfort. He wrestled his La-Z-boy lounger through the door. As an afterthought, he stocked the room with a couple of bottles of his brother’s brandy.

A 9-11 attack could bring down the building, but terrorists couldn’t touch him here. Bring it on. His safe room could outmatch a friggin’ lunatic.

Or could it? Read the serial starting with the Spring 2011 First Anniversary issue of Pages of Stories.

Pages of Stories


1 What happened? Suicide: He stood on a block of ice to pull the noose around his neck. He slowly strangled as the ice melted.

Posted in The A.D.D. Detective on April 17th, 2011
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27 comments

  1. April 17th, 2011 at 12:49 am, Jeff Baker Says:

    I love locked-room mysteries!

  2. April 17th, 2011 at 2:56 am, A Broad Abroad Says:

    [Now, how to comPOSe a POSitive yet subtle POSt for the purPOSe of exPOSing my POSition in this far-flung outPOSt? (No tyPOS or there’ll be a rude riPOSte.)

    No, nothing aproPOS comes to mind. ImPOSsible to stand opPOSite two imPOSing CB word warriors juxtaPOSed on one weekend.

    Whatever POSsessed me to POSit such a proPOSal! (sigh)]

    Congratulations, Plenty of Stories. May this anniversary be the first of many. We applaud your discerning eye, incomparable taste and impeccable judgment in hosting two of CB’s own. :-)

  3. April 17th, 2011 at 7:54 am, Fran Rizer Says:

    The above comment is so clever that Leigh could have written it himself! When I think of Leigh, my first two descriptors are charming and clever.

    My only “locked room” mystery was in my second novel when a dwarf fiddle player fell out of the bass case on stage. The case had been in sight of the whole audience for the entire performance, and they’d seen it empty at the beginning of the show. Leigh’s locked room comments may inspire me to try another.

    I was introduced to Pages of Stories yesterday, downloaded the entire first issue, and read it A to Z. Best of luck to Darlene Poier and to the magazine. I look forward to the next issue!

    My understanding is that a clever comment today might win a subscription. I haven’t been especially clever as my real purpose in commenting is to apply for a position.

    Leigh, when you and Dale go off to that deserted isle, I’ll be happy not only to hand out the pina coladas but to make them. (I make a mean margarita also!) So start looking for someone to pay for the trip, and I’ll begin packing cocoanuts, pineapples, and limes just for the honor of eavesdropping how you two develop a story.

    Fran

  4. April 17th, 2011 at 7:59 am, Fran Rizer Says:

    PS – When I reached comments and saw A Broad Abroad’s comment at 2:56 AM, I thought it a very clever winner making it a waste of time to compete for the prize subscription, but I’d like to point out that the comment contains a major inaccuracy–the name of the magazine is Pages of Stories, NOT Plenty of Stories.
    Fran

  5. April 17th, 2011 at 9:55 am, Leigh Says:

    Good morning, everyone! Glad you could make it to the party.

    Counting yesterday’s response, I see readers from Oceania, South Africa, Europe, and North America! And I’m pleased you’re locked room fans.

    Good luck in winning one of the Pages of Stories subscriptions!

    [This being the season (and Leigh being Leigh), I’ll mentioned there’s an ‘Easter egg’ of sorts (in the broader sense used by Apple) in the column.]

  6. April 17th, 2011 at 10:00 am, A Broad Abroad Says:

    Well, that’s blown it! (wry laughter)
    Profuse apologies, Pages of Stories

    [Fran, I’ll deal with you later, you tell-tale!]

    ComPOSure in tatters, I shall be indispPOSed for the rest of the day. (delicate wrist to pale brow in a maidenly fit of the vapours)

  7. April 17th, 2011 at 10:16 am, Fran Rizer Says:

    Hello A Broad Abroad,
    You have my permission to point out that I spelled coconuts incorrectly.
    I don’t know where you are abroad, but if you’re having a fit of vapors, you must be from the South like me!
    fran

  8. April 17th, 2011 at 10:38 am, A Broad Abroad Says:

    Hello Fran
    Oh, what a lovely pair of nuts we are. (grin)

    …you must be from the South like me!

    A tad further south – South Africa, in fact!

    [BTW, recently read the first three of Callie’s stories – great fun.]
    ABA

  9. April 17th, 2011 at 10:52 am, Cindy Says:

    I can’t (or at least shouldn’t) mention locked room mysteries without first giving a nod to John Dickson Carr or Carter Dickson if you prefer.
    Locked room mysteries are fun to read and writing ones that are believable are always harder to do than you would think.
    Okay, you hooked me. Now I have to read the serial!

  10. April 17th, 2011 at 10:55 am, Leigh Says:

    eMails!

    I received the following from an overseas writer this morning:

    >Can’t think when I last read a story that made mention of someone on the loo! ah ha! he was in there with the door open! :)

    So much for famed British reticence. But… I confess to a writing quirk– I had to make Demetrius wash. Authors don’t like to write anything that doesn’t advance the story, but I knew if I was a reader, it would bug me if he didn’t. Demetrius is obnoxious but not that obnoxious. So I went back and added in hand-washing… on the theory it would move the story forward for some readers.

    Just don’t tell anyone I did it.

    Tech Support

    >Can I read epub on my computer?

    Yes. Windows and Mac based e-readers are handy because most remember where you left off reading. PDFs don’t do that.

    There are close to a dozen applications for reading the various eBook formats. Pages of Stories uses ‘.epub’, which is an ‘open source’ form, meaning it’s not-proprietary.

    My new favorite is an obscure program called Reader Library.

    An open source program with lots of extra capability is Calibre.

    I recommend the broader solutions above, but if you have a Amazon Kindle or Barnes&Noble Nook, both companies produce computer e-readers. Kindle has a cooler icon but is more limited in formats. In its latest release, B&N dropped support for anything earlier than Mac 10.6 (Snow Leopard) and restricted support earlier than Windows 7. This program is closest to the original B&N Nook reader.

    No, alisa, the new B&N reader is not called the Nook-e.

  11. April 17th, 2011 at 11:14 am, Dale Andrews Says:

    Nothing like waking up in the morning and seeing your name in print! Actually my final piece of advice to Leigh on his story was that he should change the name of that detective to something OTHER than Andrew Dale. By the way, I actually have a first chapter completed of that “severed hand” novel!

    Anyway, congrats Leigh on the story!

  12. April 17th, 2011 at 11:38 am, Rob Lopresti Says:

    Congrats to Leigh and Dale and John and PoS. Hooray for short stories.

  13. April 17th, 2011 at 1:39 pm, Vicki Kennedy Says:

    Loved reading about your story, Leigh. Congrats to you and John and Pages of Stories! Wish I could think of something clever to say but I’ve never been good at clever on demand.

  14. April 17th, 2011 at 2:20 pm, alisa Says:

    That’s why I have a kindle. Don’t mess with Texas. :-)

  15. April 17th, 2011 at 2:53 pm, Louis Says:

    I now have a good reason to use my ereader. Thanks Leigh, John, and Pages of Stories.

    Okay, you hooked me on your locked room story Leigh. I’ve already downloaded the birthday present from Pages of Stories. I mention Page of Stories a third time, hoping it might win me a free subscription. Anyway, I plan to subscribe.

  16. April 17th, 2011 at 4:50 pm, A Broad Abroad Says:

    …there’s an ‘Easter egg’ of sorts … in the column.

    A picture of innocence, Mr Lundin, or innocents? :-)
    Very clever.

  17. April 17th, 2011 at 5:11 pm, Velma Says:

    Why am I not surprised ABA spotted it!

  18. April 17th, 2011 at 10:25 pm, Darlene Poier Says:

    Hello Everyone!

    You guys are a riot! I don’t know when I’ve been so entertained by comments on a blog before.

    It’s POSitively refreshing to see these witticisms. I don’t know that I could ever POSsibly compete.

    Thank you all for your kind wishes. It’s been a fantastic weekend and an exciting first year. I’ve had the opportunity to interact with such charming gentlemen as John Floyd and Leigh Lundin and many others from around the world. Each issue of the magazine just gets better and better thanks to the very talented authors out there.

    Leigh, I for one am glad that you put it into your story that Demetrius washed his hands. I remember at the time thinking that perhaps he was a little more cultured than I thought.

    By the way, this first instalment was one of the story readings we had at our celebration party on Friday. The fellow that read it is from Wales and he read it with such passion that nobody really noticed his accent. We were all entertained and now some folks up here are anxiously awaiting the second instalment.

    Thanks again everyone and I look forward to seeing some story submissions from people commenting on here in the future! It’s going to be an exciting and eventful second year.

    Darlene Poier
    Publisher
    Pages Of Stories

  19. April 17th, 2011 at 11:23 pm, Leigh Says:

    Darlene, the pleasure is John’s and mine. We love the classy look of the web site and the magazine, and we enjoy working with you.

    My colleagues and I appreciate our readers, both those who’ve been long with us and new acquaintances. I personally enjoy the wit and repartee.

    This is a fun adventure thanks to you and thanks to our genial host, James, who brought this together. We look forward to your next visit in Pages of Criminal Brief.

  20. April 18th, 2011 at 8:55 am, Sheena Says:

    Congratulations, Leigh!!

  21. April 18th, 2011 at 10:23 am, Leigh Says:

    Thanks, Sheena! Good to see you!

    Thanks also to everyone who took part. We have winners! Criminal Brief and Pages of Stories will send notifications. Congratulations!

  22. April 18th, 2011 at 11:27 am, JLW Says:

    Leigh is being modest. I had nothing whatsoever to do with the weekend festivities except to tell Leigh it was fine with me when he asked me if he and John could combine Saturday’s and Sunday’s columns.

  23. April 19th, 2011 at 5:44 am, Cindy Says:

    Thanks Darlene, Leigh and John for the POS subscription! I’m really looking forward to stopping by POS and exploring the website!
    Cindy

  24. April 19th, 2011 at 9:58 am, A Broad Abroad Says:

    POStscript
    Delighted to receive a subscription – what a treat. Grateful thanks POS, John and Leigh.

  25. April 19th, 2011 at 1:36 pm, Laura Says:

    I had the privilege of hearing the story at the Pages of Stories launch last Friday night. The story was already fabulous, its impact amplified by the energetic and entertaining delivery. I really want to read the second instalment!

  26. April 19th, 2011 at 1:52 pm, Leigh Says:

    Welcome and thank you for letting me know, Laura. I’ll have to ask Darlene if anyone by chance recorded it.

    POStscript… (laughing)

  27. April 19th, 2011 at 3:14 pm, Darlene Poier Says:

    Alas, we have pictorial recordings but no audio. For our next celebration we’ll be sure to do that. Just try to imagine Demetrius with a British accent. Honestly, Gareth read it with such passion that the accent wasn’t even a factor.

    As a side note, Laura also has a story published in this issue of the magazine.

    So many talented authors…so little time!

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