TECHNOLOGY IS OUR FRIEND

by Deborah Elliott-Upton

I used to be computer literate. I’m not sure what happened, but something called dll has caused me more trouble than I ever imagined.

I’ve run across this despicable (thank you Daffy Duck – and Mel Blanc – for such a delicious word and visual to pop into my head just now) dll before. I am not sure how it’s pronounced – or even if it is ever pronounced (perhaps as diabolical as saying Valdomort out loud), at least without an accompanying expletive not deleted – but I refer to it my computer nemesis as affectionately as possible as Dill.

Prior to Christmas, my computer seemed to be less peppy, but I had no idea it was so ill. (Dill at work again.) My printer caught the same disease and almost died several times before the ball dropped in Times Square. I have become expert at pleading, praying and petting my computer all to no avail. A multitude of cables emerge and connect the monitor, tower and printer into the surge protector. I have threatened to pull the plugs – all of them. It is time. The equipment is old (came with original Windows 98), has had transfusions with memory add-ons, software programs to find and fix problems and once, a true amputation and replacement keyboard prosthetic. This computer and I have been through many years of closeness. We bore novels, short stories, essays and poetry together. I will have a difficult time when the time comes to say good-bye move on to another.

My web site expired around the same time. It’s been revived for the moment, but without the much-needed operation to catch it up to date. Alas, it has merely been patched, bandaged and left alone while I try to give care to the most critical of my computer woes.

I’m not sure when Pentium III became obsolete. I don’t know when my printer driver had been deleted from HP’s website. I don’t know where to begin to look for replacements.

I searched several office equipment stores during the holidays, but found I didn’t know enough about today’s computers to ask questions. I don’t recognize the new names of processors (I think that’s what I need to know. I left with more questions than I had when I first stepped through their doors. Everyone I’ve spoken to agree it’s best not to replace my all-in-one unit of printer/copier/scanner/fax with another since when one component goes, you lose all. They are definitely correct, but when counter space is at a premium, what do you do? (My husband said it is simple: Get rid of some of the books taking up room) This may be a remedy, but it is too difficult to face in the midst of this crisis. It’s like choosing which child is more precious. My answer is to emulate Scarlett O’Hara. I will think about that tomorrow.

My husband advised, “It would be smart to invest in new equipment before the first of the year so we could use it as deduction for 2007.” He said this on December 31, 2007. He was correct. I should have, but I didn’t. I knew the decision on which computer and printer to buy would be more important to my creativity than a tax deduction. Actually, the current equipment shouldn’t have lasted as long as it did. Working on borrowed time, I should have anticipated the eventual
demise of the components and rediscovered the world of technological advances.

I am composing this column on the old unit that served me well for way too long. It’s been difficult, but together we cranked out one last piece before the deadline. Replacements will arrive as soon as I can choose which to buy. Will I harbor regrets? Probably at first while I am getting used to a new system and then, I will move on and become cold and a bit heartless and I will forget about my old, familiar Dell . . . and also, about Dill.

Yes, technology is our friend, one I’ve neglected to reacquaint myself with these past few years. (Thank goodness for flash drives!) It’s time to move forward. I’m ready for 2008. Are you?