Thursday, January 10: Femme Fatale
TO BE CLONED or NOT TO BE CLONED
by Deborah Elliott-Upton
It’s been a decade since scientists cloned the first animal from an adult cell rather than an embryo. The result was worldwide headlines and a sheep named Dolly became more known than many heads of state. The cell used was a mammary cell and someone decided she should be named after another female known as much for her singing abilities as her mammary glands, Dolly Parton. 
Today’s headlines declare the U.S. government has said food from cloned animals is safe for human consumption. The question is: Do humans want to ingest clones?
Actually, pretty much we do.
Want to be a bestselling author? Follow the trend and become a facsimile of your favorite author. Type the words to a prospective agent: My novel is written in the vein of Anne Perry, John Grisham, Debbie Macomber or whoever is on top of the genre you prefer to write.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery – Charles Caleb Colton, 1820
Think you might want to be a television writer? A sure thing is to copy, er, excuse me, create a formula that is already working. Could there be another “CSI” or “Law and Order” spinoff? I already get the almost-same-title programs confused. Sitcoms about four single women in a big city worked for “Sex in the City,” and now it seems the networks are giving another four single women in a big city another spin with “Cashmere Mafia.” It probably helps that this one is written by the same guy. “Desperate Housewives” is basically the lives of Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha after they married. (For those keeping a scorecard, Carrie is Susan (they’re even both writers); Miranda is Lynnette; Samantha is Edie and Charlotte becomes Bree – and these two have even shared the same actor/husband in Kyle MacLachlan.)
When “same” becomes “same-old,” try going the opposite direction. Backwoods hillbillies who become rich and move to the big city (“The Beverly Hillbillies”) are switched to rich city folks who move to the backwoods. (“Green Acres”)
Publisher’s fiction guidelines suggest we read the work of the authors they currently publish to see what they are buying. This is great for a student of writing trends, except many times when submitting a fiction story in the style of (fill in the blank celebrity writer here), the editor will shrug and say, “If I wanted a Stephen King story, why wouldn’t I just ask Stephen King for a story and improve the chances for yet-another bestseller?”
Or at least, that’s how it seems sometimes. Rejection is a part of being a writer and unfortunately, it arrives more often than acceptances – especially in a writer’s beginning attempts.
It’s difficult to remember that a writer “voice” is what sets him apart from the crowded audition for the next available space in a magazine or on bookstore shelves across the country.
I ask my students to find their own voice while studying those of their favorite authors. Who knows? Maybe someday beginning writers will be cloning my student’s writing, too.
Seems to me the trick is to not be an exact clone but to have enough similarities that poeple will say it’s like ______ only better. Not an easy task, but I think there has to be some twist that makes it your own.
She’s sings like Britney only she wears panties on public,
or, He dances like Michael Jackson but young boys do not flee at his appearance.
uh oh, he said the “B” word….
I never would have thought to put eating cloned meat in comparison to cloning an author, but it makes sense.
I agree with Travis, it would be nice to hear, she’s like “fill in the blank” only better.
Plus, I’d like to clone my teacher’s writing abilities!
Everyone copies the styles of their favorites at first. Rod Serling said he’d imitated Hemmingway and most of what he wrote began “It was hot.” Talk enough and you’ll find your own voice (God knows I’m trying to!) As for t.v., Ernie Kovacs refered to the cloning as “the beat-it-to-death-syndrome…”
“She’s sings like Britney only she wears panties on public”
I’m glad I didn’t have anything in my hands or mouth when I read that. Who would ever have thought pop singers would need instruction in wearing panties?
Y’all are going to get me into trouble mentioning that “B” name…
Sarah Weinman’s World of Mystery was one of the first to publish notice about Ed Hoch. She lists a number of references including one of Criminal Brief’s and from Mystery*File.