PROS and CONS

by Deborah Elliott-Upton

“If ‘pro’ is the opposite of ‘con’ what is the opposite of ‘progress’?” – Paul Harvey

I don’t know about you, but I already miss Paul Harvey and the rest of the story. His broadcasts always led us down a path where we thought we knew how the story would end, but when he told the ending, I was always surprised. Now, surely that is the sign of a great writer, one who can deliver a twist ending every time. Think of what a great con man Paul Harvey would have been had his powers of the written word instead of for good been used for evil. (Is this where we insert a Bwa-ha-ha ?)

“There’s a sucker born every minute.”
– P. T. Barnum

As long as there have been people, surely there have been someone trying to swindle another out of whatever was used a s currency, whether it be coins, beads or live chickens.

An older woman told a group of us a story about when she was nine-years-old and left alone in the house while the rest of the family worked the cotton fields. She answered a knock on the door to find a traveling salesman who discovering she was alone, placed the proverbial foot in the door to block her closing it.

He edged his way into the house showing her a genuine leather Bible he was selling and said it could be hers for only one dollar. “Wouldn’t you like to own a beautiful Bible like this?” he asked.

She’d never seen such a beautiful Bible and when he pointed out it had a place for the family history and her name could be right there on that line, she practically swooned. “Do you have a dollar?” he asked.

She did. You guessed it, the salesman took money from a child, had her sign a contract and told her the Bible would be sent to her in the mail.

As any nine-year-old would, she soon forgot about the salesman and his promise of a package, but one day a Bible arrived in the mail, along with a bill for the balance to be paid in installments as she’d agreed on the signed contract. Her parents made her pay each payment from money she’d earned – not easy for a child, but especially in those times of economic hardship. Now, I don’t tell this story half as well as the woman it happened to, but I bet we’ve all fallen for some type of scheme, been cheated by someone somewhere and just flat out stolen from, too. The question always comes to mind, “How can those people live with themselves?’

From what I hear, they don’t lose sleep over it. But, those of us who have been conned usually spend many sleepless nights with regret.

The world is full of dishonest people stealing identities, ideas and bilking folks out of retirement funds by promising things never to be delivered.

This is awful, so why do we love the stories, books and movies about con artists?

“I’ve always loved movies about con men. I think con men are as American as apple pie.” – Bill Paxton

“The Sting” is one of those movies I enjoy watching and re-watching. Okay, it probably has a lot to do with Paul Newman and those baby blues, but the story fascinates me. Getting back at the con is such a thrill, we’re all sitting on the edge of our seats to see how it’s done and that it’s done so that the original con is taken for the ride this go around.

“Every crowd has a silver lining.” – P. T. Barnum

“It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.” – W. C. Fields

Does this mean we secretly harbor delusions of cheating someone else? Don’t scoff. What if you were to find a bag of cash on the street and no one was around. Would you be tempted to keep it? Surely you’d mentally spend at least some of the money. Would you keep it if it meant someone else suffered the loss? To a con artist, it wouldn’t.

Would we take money by selling something to someone we knew didn’t really need what we were selling? Hmm, commissions are made every day off of people buying things they don’t need. Right now, I’m envisioning a garage sale where my sister and I encouraged a woman to buy a dress that we both thought was hideous. Is that conning? Am I splitting hairs to think we were providing a product and choose to Let the buyer beware

I admit I’ve fallen for scams, too. I bought magazine subscriptions from kids at my door and never received anything but a carbon copy of a receipt that was bogus. I’ve purchased items from infomercials that hadn’t misled me, but outright lied. I’ve believed it when someone said they could double my money in a sure thing (but I only fell for that one once and I was very young.)

I can’t get back at the conmen and women of the world. I can’t right all the wrongs. But, as a writer, I can make sure they’re the ones taken for the ride in the stories I write.

“I’m a con artist in that I’m an actor. I make people believe something is real when they know perfectly well it isn’t.” – John Lithgow

But, then, there’s that other part of me – the mischievous imp – that enjoys being slightly devious sometimes. Think I can make a reader believe something is real when it so is not? Hmm, I think I’ll try just for fun and see if I sleep just fine.