A FARRAGO FOURTH (or FIFTH)

by Leigh Lundin

Some days articles are hard to write. The ideas float by, but latching onto one occasionally proves difficult. Hey, I’m ADD– it says so above.

Surfin’ Safari

The new Safari browser interface looks cool. I had written my own personal portal home page loaded with links I use most often. Safari offers the same idea with a visual interface, providing a panoramic view of screen miniatures. It’s an idle observation while thinking up a column, not an article. (Download here.)

Shooting from the Lip

Author Alice Hoffman made the news in a Twitter rage going off on a critic for a few words. It’s difficult to get worked up about diva madness on a 4^th of July weekend, especially after reporting about the egregious Deborah MacGillivray stalking a fan who gave a tepid Amazon review. In an environment when we want to attract fans, we shouldn’t drive readers and reviewers away.

The most interesting aspect of the affair is Hoffman herself wrote a New York Times review that incited Pulitzer Prize winner Richard Ford and his wife to a shooting spree. Come to think of it, that could make a funny 4^th of July story.

High-Maintenance Man

I consider writing about Juan, my new high-maintenance lawn guy. He lives perhaps 150 meters down the street, but drives his car to my house to visit several times a day. Juan is worth writing about because he would make a great character in a story.

If I told you he lost an eye from a shooting incident, if I told you I’ve never seen him with a shirt on and he has a pot belly that somehow looks okay on him, you’d form an impression that wouldn’t come close.

Juan is a teddy bear without the fur. He’s happy like a child is happy and he wants to tell me about his hubcaps or his mower. Also, like a kid, he knocks on my door to ask if Steve is around, wondering if Steve can come out to play, and looks disappointed when I tell him Steve’s at his girlfriend’s house.

More than most of us admit to, Juan thrives on approbation and he’s not afraid to ask for it. During mowing, he raps on my window to ask if I like how he edged the fence line or preserved the saplings filling in the little woods that forms my back yard.

I’m a hermit or, as some insist, a troglodyte, so when focused on editing and Juan knocks on my door, I tend to jump out of my skin. This can happen several times a day and although I may say an expletive after the fourth or eighth interruption, I recognize Juan as a positive force, enthusiastically contributing cheerfulness. His interruptions yank me out of my little world and remind me birds and sunshine are outside. When a bang on my door causes a near heart attack, I may swear under my breath, but if Juan didn’t rap on the window, I’d feel disappointed.

Scam Alert

Last year, I published a scam warning that affects homeowners who ‘outsource’ their landscaping and lawn care. Guys will appreciate the article for one reason, women for another. Read on.