DON’T ASK, DON’T ASK

by Rob Lopresti

Inquiring minds want to know. Here are 20 questions mystery authors get tired of.

Do you know there’s a typo on page 5?

Is your book any good?

Why don’t you sell your books to the movies and make a lot of money?

Do you write under your own name?

Do you know there’s a typo on page 24?

Would my Uncle Herb like your book?

I never heard of your publisher. Is it a vanity press?

I just read your blog. Is it usually better than that?

Would you read my manuscript and recommend it to your agent?

Are you rich yet?

Have I ever heard of you?

Does anyone still read short stories?

How about if I tell you my life story, you turn it into a novel, and we split the money fifty-fifty?

Who is this character based on?

Do you ever think about writing literature, instead of mysteries?

I like Robert Parker / Agatha Christie / John Grisham / Harry Potter. Are your books like Robert Parker / Agatha Christie / John Grisham / Harry Potter?

How about that great big honking typo on page 177?

Who cares who killed Roger Ackroyd?

Didn’t you have a copy editor, for God’s sake?

Where do you get your ideas?

Another thread from the web.

And speaking of questions, here is a lovely little video in honor of National Library Week, which was back in April. Ignore the sickeningly cute finger puppets and wait for the good part.