Sunday, January 17: The A.D.D. Detective
The DINNER GAME, part 2
by Leigh Lundin
Last week, I described a dinner in which we invite our favorite personalities, mostly authors, mostly mystery writers. This week, I propose a dinner in which we invite our favorite fictional characters.
The exercise has a point: How real are the characters? And how engaging? What can we learn from them to help our own characterizations?
Not every character will appeal to everyone. I wanted to strangle Scarlett O’Hara and put myself out of misery. My reaction to her does not deny she fascinates millions of women. Thomas Covenant wore thin with me. After reading the first three of The Unbeliever novels and rooting for something worthwhile to happen, I gave up, disappointed at the quagmire he floundered in. Others saw something else and continued, becoming part of its following.
I expected some overlap between favorite authors and characters such as John Lutz’s Alo Nudger and Lindsey Davis’ Falco, but less than I imagined. I would like to see Rumpole but also Number 2 and Number 6 from The Prisoner. That reminded me of Juror Number 8 in Twelve Angry Men.
I don’t limit the dinner to crime and mystery characters. For example, Professors Snapes and McGonagall might prove interesting. As before, I batted the idea around with others.
Dinner Conversation
F: after that chat was thinking about a CB column inviting authors’ characters to dinner – whom to invite and why – seating could be interesting
J: That’s good.
F: yes – Jules Verne – 20 000 leagues and all that – I imagined Nemo wanting to go down to see the wreck of the Titanic
L: I think Hannibal Lector would make an interesting dinner guest, as long as the rest of us weren’t on the menu.
F: well only if you promise to feed him before hand – and no fava bean or chianti!
L: Far as I’m concerned, he can have all the fava beans and chianti he wants as long as he remains vegetarian.
F: you could end by asking who others would invite – who they seat next to one another (and who not) and why – could be fun
L: Yes.
F: maybe authors could come with their creations? only crime and mystery authors? heaps of scope
L: Nah, leave it open to all!
F: Would Agatha be able to bring Hercule and Miss Marple?
L: Hercule would be great. I might enjoy Miss Marple (Joan ummmm version), although she’s gossipy. Joan Hickson.
F: as long as Hannibal Lector isnt seated next to the Margaret Rutherford‘s Miss Marple – he’s be sizing her up all evening
J: Not enough meat on those bones. Margaret Dumont, now …
L: Groucho‘s on my list.
J: Harpo and Chico could play.
L: They’re fictional and real life.
F: Hercule has to promise not to strain soup through this moustache!
L: Lindsey Davis’ Falco, Brother Cadfael (Ellis Peters), Ramses (Elizabeth Peters).
F: have been reading about Lindsey Davis – her crit on the film Gladiator made interesting reading
L: She’s not noted for mincing words, especially with Americans.
F: being her period she was very aware of historical and technical errors – will find it for you and send it on
F: then one of her friend reported on her having to be removed from a cinema in floods of tears when something sad happened in another film – funny review –
J: Don’t mention mincemeat around Hannibal Lector.
F: (note to self – cross mince meat off the menu)
L: Could be interesting if we seated Sherlock Holmes between Colonel Moran and Professor Moriarty.
J: They might do a Rodney King. "Why can’t we all get along?" Unless he marries a ditzy American chick, then I side with Moran and Moriarty.
L: I never saw Disney’s Peter Pan until a few years ago. I was surprised how sophisticated Captain Hook was. As much as I like Peter, I liked Hook, too.
J: The cartoon?
L: The animated version. I was hooked.
F: You just wanted your own personal Tinkerbell.
L: That, too. Tiger Lily was hot. (laughing)
J: This has gotten far off-track.
F: Pretty much the definition of ADD.
Others on the Guest List
As the discussion grew, other candidates for our fictional character dinner party found themselves on our guest list. In no particular order, some of the additional invitees include:
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Who would you invite?
I especially like the choice of Illya Kuryakin, Talk about a name from the past . . .
Although they spelled it on The Man from U.N.C.L.E. as you have it, “Ilya” really only has one “L”. It’s Russian for “Elijah”. I suppose the reason it’s sometimes spelled with two “L”s is because the “L” is palatalized, i.e., pronounced from the palate rather than from the teeth, and this is indicated in how it’s spelled in Cyrillic, with the “soft sign” between the “L” and the “Ya”.
The most famous Ilya in Russian folklore is Ilya Muromets, an epic hero or “bogatyr” of Kievan Rus’. In the Russian church, he is regarded as a legendary saint, like St. George. He was very heroic but had a very bad temper, and so would either be a lot of fun at dinner, or he’d turn over the table out of pique.
Personally, I don’t find Illya Kuryakin half as much fun as Ducky Mallard. But Ducky’s choice of topics while dining might be a little on the grisly side.
I understand there’s a scene in one of the NCIS episodes where someone asks what Ducky Mallard looked like when he was young. Agent Jethro Gibbs responds, “Illya Kuryakin”.
Leigh, maybe you should stick with Napoleon Solo. No problem spelling, or pronouncing, HIS name.
Anyone reading this who never saw it; find a tape/DVD or the book of Steve Allen’s 1970’s “Meeting Of Minds” series. During that era a buddy of mine made up a dinner list and one of my selections was Uncle Martin from “My Favorite Martian”! Today, I’d like to sit in on one of the Black Widowers’ dinners. (I’d also like to request tacos as the main course!)
Vegetarian tacos, Jeff, out of deference to Hannibal Lector.
Maybe you could arrange for Lucrezia Borgia to personally prepare Hannibal Lector’s vegetarian tacos! I hear they are to die for.
Seat Lector next to that shark from the comic strip “Sherman’s Lagoon” and pass me the hot sauce and the tacos…