ADD

by Leigh Lundin

The title James awarded me isn’t just frivolous, I really am ADD. At one time, ADD was thought to be mainly a male disorder, particularly the hyperactive component, ADHD, but someone finally noticed that young boys, frogs, things that explode, and hyperactivity tend to go together. I don’t have the hyperactive component, at least not anymore, and I haven’t exploded anything in, well, weeks.

A number of characteristics can be profiled for ADD people, but simplified traits would include the following:

• high creativity
• off-the-ceiling IQ
• a brain that never shuts off
• tendency toward social ineptness
• attraction towards computers and visuals
• high consumption of caffeine without typical side-effects

Sound like a writer near you?

The authors of the book, Driven to Distraction, rightly contend that ADD should not be viewed as a affliction, but as an asset. ADD actually helps many of us create. It also implies that we may be rotten in business and the ordinary grind that life demands but, without creativity, we wouldn’t have art, and without art, we wouldn’t have the wonderful visions that make life worth living.

Furthermore, many of us, myself included, owe a debt to those around us who try their best to keep us on life’s track and out of trouble. Without them, we wouldn’t be able to do what we do best.

Self-Medication

Caffeine is medicine for ADD. As one researcher put it, caffeine ‘cools the brain’, slows down the rush of ideas flooding through the neural pathways. When I have difficulty sleeping, I drink caffeine to relax. When I’m concentrating, Coke (the liquid kind), helps me focus. Otherwise without it, … er, … What was I saying?

Excuse me, now. I need caffeine.

Nonplussed

Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can really annoy me. Three times in recent days, I have come across the term “pre-published”, and of course, I thought of “pre-pregnant” and even pondered the meaning of “pre-gnant”. I first heard “pre-published” mentioned in connection with the Romance Writers of America, which puts out a nice magazine called the RWR. The term, of course, refers to members of the RWA who are yet to be published. They are certainly not alone in using it. According to my calculations, the vast majority of the world can claim to be pre-published, particularly where illiteracy is high.

For three or four years, I have been irritated with the Oxford Dictionary that ships with the Macintosh OS-X and the Oxford paperback as well. The dictionary and thesaurus are wonderful conveniences, not quite as powerful as my old American Heritage Dictionary I used through OS-9, but still great to have and it bears the weight of authority. Except occasionally, I come across their concept of Americanisms that rock me back with a “Huh?!”

The worst of their Americanized definitions is “nonplussed”, which irritated me so much I even tried, without success, to contact the Oxford editors. I regret having to do this to my readers, but allow me to share their usage note with you:

USAGE: In standard use, nonplussed means “surprised and confused”: the hostility of the new neighbor’s refusal left Mrs. Walker nonplussed. In North American English, a new use has developed in recent years, meaning “unperturbed”more or less the opposite of its traditional meaning: hoping to disguise his confusion, he tried to appear nonplussed . This new use probably arose on the assumption that non- was the normal negative prefix and must therefore have a negative meaning. Although the use is common, it is not yet considered standard. The preferred spelling is nonplussed.

I have lived and/or worked in 42 of the 50 states and parts of Canada, and I have never heard this abomination expressed as they define it for us. I’m starting to suspect a conspiracy, that if they slip a few more of these faux definitions into our vocabulary, that our great nation will eventually be reduced to drooling idiocy, perhaps one day prone to embracing such concepts as Preventive War.