Wednesday, July 15: Tune It Or Die!
UNDERWORKED and OVERHEARD
by Rob Lopresti
I just got back from music camp. My wife did most of the music while I spent the week writing a big chunk of what I (and the publisher) hope will be my next novel.
Since I was surrounded by a crowd of strangers, I thought this was an excellent opportunity to practIce another writing trick, one I discussed in a column once before. It’s simple enough. Pay attention to what you hear from the passersby. When something sounds interesting, write it down in your notebook. (You DO carry a notebook, don’t you, all you writers and would-be writers?)
At the end of the week I had a few tantalizing tidbits that might lead to
stories, a couple of lines that may belong in songs (including a terrific hook for a country song, I think), and a bunch of garbage. I will spread it all
out and let you decide which is which.
By the way, there is one ringer in here: a comment I heard at home but loved too much to leave out
The voices of strangers
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You’re always the first to get lost. Take down one piano. That’s a condominium for birds. I fell in love with those cowboy boots. I stole some flowers for my mother’s birthday. Just don’t call me when you’re drunk. There’s no snow on the ground. I just stabbed myself with a pencil. I’m going to Albuquerque to get rid of that job. |
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Thought experiment
Each of those sentences was part of a conversation. Pick one and ask
yourself:
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Who was the speaker? Who was the intended listener? Why was this said? What would happen if the speaker’s lover/boss/enemy overheard the conversation? What if the speaker was lying? |
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And now you have something to write on your next vacation.
I’ll pick the easiest one: Just don’t call me when you’re drunk.
A girl talking to the half-in-the-bag guy sitting next to her on a barstool. She said it because the listener sobers up only on special occasions. He is, or wants to be, the speaker’s lover. She is lying because she wants him to call regardless of his condition at the moment.
I have heard this conversation many times in bars from New York to Los Angeles. Only as an observer, of course. Girls never asked me to call.
“I fell in love with those cowboy boots.”
Who was the speaker? A psychopathic killer who has already strangled 5 women to death all across the country.
Who was the intended listener? His mother.
Why was this said? Because he loves his mother, and it’s the truth; he really did fall in love with those cowboy boots.
What would happen if the speaker’s lover overheard the conversation? He would be touched.
What if the speaker was lying? He would never lie to his mother. To anybody else, yes, (even to his lover) but never to his mother.
“I’m going to Albuquerque to get rid of that job.”
Speaker? A gun for hire.
Intended listener? Nobody.
Why said? The guy talks to himself. (bad habit)
If the speaker’s boss heard him? He’d misunderstand and think the speaker was going to run out on his “assignment.”
What if the speaker was lying? He’d still be really unlucky. (How do you fire a hit-man?)