Sunday, November 1: The A.D.D. Detective
STICKS ‘n’ STONES
by Leigh Lundin
This week, we thank the governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, for today’s column. English may not be his first language, but he has no trouble sneaking four letter words, specifically the ƒ-word, into an official message to the State Assembly. For a larger view, click on the snapshot below or read a full-size PDF of the original memo.
In the weeks leading up to this event, the governor had reason to be irritated. San Francisco Democrats treated him shabbily at a dinner, one shouting "You lie," aping Congressman Joe Wilson’s abominable words. (For those just tuning in, I take every equal opportunity to offend both political parties as much as they offend me.) Assemblyman Tom Ammiano told Schwarzenegger "Kiss my gay ass."
Schwarzenegger managed to keep the fixed smile he’s famous for, but apparently the insults stuck, which brought about crafting a memo when time could have been better spent. In vetoing a non-controversial bill regarding San Francisco Bay development, Arnold sent back a message within a message, ƒ you. (Again, for those tuning in, we ran an article on that word, too.)
Apparently, no one in California is above bad behavior. The most amazing take came from Schwarzenegger’s spokesman Aaron McLear, who said "My goodness. What a coincidence!" Unfortunately, our Velma took umbrage when asked to track down the governor’s note to the Assembly.
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Word Play
On to less controversial word play. Amaze your friends and fool your Scrabble opponents. Name words commonly found in English dictionaries that contain no vowels. The letter Y does not count.
- Rule:
- James can’t play. With his super-powerful vocabulary and new super-powerful OED dictionary he has to officiate. (Rumors I’m envious of his new dictionary are totally false.)
- Did I mention the letter Y does not count?
- Hint:
- Fiction dominates in the use of many of these words.
M E M O F R O M V E L M A
Fortunately, I did not take
umbrage as said above, though I
contemplated telling the guv to
kiss my cute non-gay derrière.
Yes, I found the memorandum
obscene, poorly written, and
unpublishable..
– Velma
Love the Govenator. Why someone that wealthy would want to subject themselves to political torture is beyond my comprehension.
One big credit you can give him in all his movies he did not fantasize about being Veronica Lake.
The liberals certainly trashed our country along with the republicans long before he got into office.
If it offends Velma, that’s good enough for me.
As for the word game, I’m out. On the few occasions when I tried Scrabble all my letters were Y, Z or X.
Oh my, oh my, why can’t one use y? Hmmm…Leigh does make one think at times. Psst….I’m going to Florida for the Christmas break. Shhh, let’s not tell Leigh the real reason weather related. Brrr, winter in Edmonton can be brutal.
Tsk, tsk, not sure these count…at least I tried!!! Leigh knows I use ‘hmmm’ and ‘brrr’ a lot.
We in California are so proud of our politicians.
It’s the Curse of JLW — born in Minnesota, raised in Texas, lives in California—the three most politically embarrassing states in the union. Coincidence? You be the judge.
But I had nothing whatsoever to do with Rod Blagojevich. That was in Illinois.
Congratulations! Sheena has most of them, essentially sound effects. I also wondered about zzz. James, does “zzz” happen to be in your big dictionary?
There’s at least another couple of words I’m looking for that– surprise– the Welsh unloaded on us.
James, does “zzz” happen to be in your big dictionary?
It’s not my “big dictionary” — it’s the OED. That’s like saying “the military’s big office building” when you mean the Pentagon.
But to answer your question, no, “zzz” isn’t in the OED.
I don’t even know why I respond, since you won’t let me play. You made it sound like I would cheat. (Insert indignant vowelless exclamation here that I’m not allowed to print.)
(Insert thoughtful vowelless expression indicating an observation here that I am also not allowed to print), I wonder how many words are left?
Word play is as important to scrabble as foreplay is to well….you know. It’s what you’ve got going for you that counts in both games.
As for Texas being a politically embarrasing state, that is word play on “opinion”—yes?
(laughing)
Opinion? Alas, no. Never mind the present crop; you’ve obviously never studied Texas history. How about Ma Ferguson, the first female governor of Texas, elected because her husband had been impeached, convicted, and removed from office? Or Jim Hogg naming his daughter Ima? Closer to home, you might remember the 1970s, when Governor Dolph Briscoe appointed several dead men to government jobs, and then sponsored a program to eliminate the golden eagle, a federally protected species—and also when the Texas electorate sent Don Yarbrough, a convicted felon, to the Texas Supreme Court.
I wear my Luccheses as proudly as any man, but you gotta admit that Texas politics is downright embarrassing and has been since Mirabeau Bonaparte Lamar.
Embarassing? Hey, I’m from NJ. Remember, one of our governors was Lord Cornbury, who liked to dress as his cousin, the Queen. And the last royal governor was Benjamin Franklin’s illegitimate son WIlliam, who the rebels put in prison. We say he started two great traditions of NJ politics: throwing pols in jail and calling the governor a bastard. qrxyndz
= = = S P O I L E R A L E R T = = =
The results are in and sheena wins the all expense paid vacation, dinner with James at his club, and a chance to appear in a movie with Melodie. (clothing optional)
The additional words I was looking for are ‘cwm‘, ‘crwth‘, and their plurals, both Celtic. Sorry, Steve, ‘pwn’ hasn’t made it into the dictionary yet.
I’ll add that in a conversation this evening, I became aware of using another ‘sound effect’ word, looked it up in the dictionary, and voilà, there it was: The word is ‘tch’.
Congratulations, sheena, and (as Rob would say) stay tuned alisa: our next grand prize is dinner at the White House (or a white house– I forget.)
Why JLW, I swear to middlin’— I do well and obviously study the history of my state…..and obviously still say an opinion is an opinion. Word play is really excitin’ when it gets to rufflin’ feathers.
As for Ma, I daresay most states are riddled with ill gained repute from their husband politicians!
Anyway, it would have been kinder to say, DO you read Texas history or know it? If you have any discernment, you obviously note my discontent. However, I’m really not upset. Just tweaking back.
Leigh, I’d rather starve. Unless of course it’s your white house. Obviously I’d be attending that dinner.
I should have mentioned ‘nth’, used heavily by scientists, mathematicians, engineers… and my mother, as in, “You boys infuriate me to the nth degree!”
Anyway, it would have been kinder to say, DO you read Texas history or know it?
You’re right, of course. I was in debate mode, but that’s no excuse for being rude.
But Texas politics is still embarrassing.
Debate mode? See? I was in word play mode.
You weren’t being rude.
Rather than embarrassing though, I think Texas politics (any politics for that matter) intriguing.