Saturday, November 7: Mississippi Mud
SMILE WHEN YOU SAY THAT
by John M. Floyd
NOTE: Not that it matters, but what follows is true.
One Saturday years ago, I walked outside to check the mail and saw my then-neighbor, a retired college president named Harbour, raking leaves in his front yard. Normally he looked like the distinguished and educated man that he was; that day — thanks to bib overalls and a straw hat and a stubble of white beard — he didn’t.
As I watched, a Cadillac pulled up to his curb and a lady leaned out the driver’s-side window. She motioned to Mr. Harbour, he approached the car, they exchanged a few words I couldn’t hear, and all of a sudden she popped her head back into the Caddie and roared away from the curb. My neighbor went back to raking his leaves.
Later, when I asked him about it, he grinned like a kid on Christmas morning. Here’s what he said happened:
“Excuse me,” the lady called, from the car window. “Can I ask you a question?”
“I suppose so.”
“I was told Edna Harbour lives here.”
“Sure does,” he said. (What he didn’t say was that Edna was his wife.)
“Do you mind my asking what you charge to do her yard work?”
He shook his head. “She doesn’t pay me a thing.”
“What? You do it for free?”
“Not exactly,” he said. “She lets me sleep with her.”
I thought that was one of the funniest things I’d ever heard. I can’t be sure, of course, that that’s what he actually said to the lady, or what she said to him — Mr. Harbour was known for his practical jokes and tall tales. For all I know, she might’ve asked him for directions and then left in a hurry to get there. But what I do know is that I hope I have half his sense of humor when I get to be his age.
I have honestly come to believe that folks who laugh a lot and smile a lot — at themselves and at life in general — tend to be happier and even live longer than those who don’t. Laughter really is the best medicine.
That’s not to say that we shouldn’t be serious at times, at both work and leisure, and I guess the writing of fiction can fall into either of those categories. I realize that some stories don’t lend themselves to humor as much as others, but when I read a piece of fiction that includes some degree of humor, light or dark, subtle or obvious, I consider that a plus. And I enjoy writing humor even more than I enjoy reading it.
With that in mind, here are a few examples (you knew a list was coming, right?) of stories and novels and movies and TV series that I found to be laugh-out-loud funny:
Short stories:
- “The Kugelmaas Episode,” Woody Allen
- “You Can’t Kill the Rooster,” David Sedaris
- “The Green Heart,” Jack Ritchie
- “Voodoo,” Fredrick Brown
- “The Catbird Seat,” James Thurber
Novels:
- No Way to Treat a First Lady, Christopher Buckley
- Four to Score, Janet Evanovich
- What’s the Worst that Could Happen?, Donald Westlake
- A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole
- Lucky You, Carl Hiaasen
Movies:
- “Raising Arizona” (1987)
- “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum” (1966)
- “Blazing Saddles” (1974)
- “The Big Lebowski” (1998)
- “Airplane!” (1980)
TV series:
- “Cheers”
- “M*A*S*H”
- “Wings”
- “Frasier”
- “Seinfeld”
What are some of your favorites? My list changes all the time, as I discover new stories or remember old ones — but isn’t that how it should be?
Life is funny that way.
John,
Sometimes we forget how important humor is in terms of keeping our lives in balance.
During my radiation treatments, I was required to be in at-home isolation for a time and I rediscovered old episodes of Cheers and M*A*S*H, and they kept me smiling.
I’m with you on “What’s the Worst that Could Happen?” Of all the wonderfully funny books by Westlake, that is a stand out.
Of course as a New Yorker, I have a special affinity for “Can Anybody Here Play This Game?” by Jimmy Breslin, which is the story of the first year of the you-gotta-love-’em New York Mets.
Terrie
I agree with you on three of those short stories, haven’t read the Sedaris or Brown.
My faves, skipping yours:
Avram Davidson – The Lord of Central Park
Kantner, Rob – “How Wendy Tudhope Was Saved from Sure and Certain Death”
Powell, James – “The Eye Of Shafti”
Ritchie – “The Absence of Emily”
Wignall, Kevin – “Hal Checks Out”
Oddly enough, the Westlake novel you picked is my second LEAST favorite Dortmunder book.
Westlake – Dancing Aztecs
Jay Cronley- Cheap Shot
Kinky Friedman – A Case of Lone Star
Lawrence Block – The Burglar Who Liked To Quote Kipling
Steve Hockesmith- The Black Dove
Here’s a question for you: What are the funiest NON-FICTION books? Collections of essays (e.g. Benchley) don’t count.
H Allen Smith – The Great Chili Confrontation
Westlake (again) – Under An English Heaven
Thurber – My Life and Hard Times
Leonard S. Bernstein – How’s Business? Don’t Ask!
Howard Mohr – How To Talk Minnesotan
Rob, I would have included “The Absence of Emily” if I’d thought longer about it (I love everything by Jack Ritchie), and I should probably also have included at least one of Bernie Rhodenbarr’s burglar adventures in the funniest novels list.
As for your question, the funniest non-fiction book I’ve read was probably A WALK IN THE WOODS by Bill Bryson, or maybe BORN STANDING UP by Steve Martin. And the NY Mets book Terrie mentioned — I really like Jimmy Breslin.
A few years ago after a very very bad month one of Wm. H. Upson’s “Alexander Botts” stories made me laugh out loud for the first time in a while. So, I submit Upson and Botts here.
Oops! That should read “Upson” not “Upton.” My bad!
In grade school, when I hadn’t smuggled in a tawdry detective paperback, I read ahead in my reader, particularly during oral recitations. The class was reading something dull and deadly serious, like “Man Without a Country” or “Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner” when I stumbled upon a Mark Twain tale about a goat at the top of a hill who spies the read end of a fat man bent over. Naturally, with Twain, the story took many detours, each funnier than the next. At first, quiet chuckles escaped my lips but the more I read, the funnier it got until I was all but rolling in the aisle. The teacher was not amused as she called out, “MR. LUNDIN! WHAT IS GOING ON?”
She banned the practice of reading ahead after that.