Your Wife is Hot

In court happenings, if not exactly crime news, two Florida air conditioning companies are suing the bejeezus out of each other. I’m not sure what bejeezus is, but it doesn’t sounds holy pleasant.

Thanks to ‘Rick’ at the South Florida Daily Blog, we learn about the dastardly machinations in the uncool world of air conditioning. The players are:

• Air Around the Clock in Coral Springs, originator of Your Wife is Hot ad campaign, hereafter ‘AAC’.
• All Year Cooling in Fort Lauderdale, creator of the Your Wife is NOT Hot ads, hereafter ‘AYC’.

Are we cool so far? AAC put up billboards saying "Your wife is hot… better get your A/C fixed."

AYC followed with their own billboards, "Your wife is not hot… because you called All Year Cooling."

I’m sure neither of these fine companies engage in the annual practice of gouging customers for new units they don’t need, but AAC decided to make a federal case out of the billboards. Me, I’d call the company with a sense of humor. Actually, I call my friend Jerry Bruce who’s 79 years old and crawls around attics and wrestles compressors like he’s half his age. Best of all, he’s honest in a business that treats customers like they fell off the turnip truck.

Hijacking

With all the attention piracy gets off the coast of Africa, you might not notice Europe has its first case of piracy in centuries. Mostly it’s a story of error piled upon error and beyond the pirates themselves, no one seems to know the motives, which may include smuggling missiles to Iran (or not), an Israeli or Russian intelligence scheme (or not), a sour business rivalry (or not), an insurance scam (or not), a scam against an environmental group (or not), plain theft or ransom (or not).

Check D for none of the above.

Claiming to be Swedish drug police, the pirates proved violent. They bashed in the teeth of a young crew member. They threatened to kill the captain and the cook. At sea with the automatic identification system (AIS) disabled, they became a law unto themselves. The ship vanished, but the Russian Navy’s guided-missile frigate Ladny tracked it down.

In one of the many screwy twists, a crew member managed to secret a mobile phone. The captain used it to text headquarters "Locked up in the cabins. Don’t know where we are heading or what they’ve found."

I’m tempted to say the staff who received the message must have been exceptionally dim, but I wasn’t there and can’t guess what they were thinking. Headquarters phoned and eMailed the ship, putting the pirates on notice the crew had been in contact. Angry buccaneers threatened to kill the captain. When the miscreants phoned the shipper to demand ransom, the ship’s owner, failing to comprehend his vessel had been seized, slammed down the phone.

It’s a fascinating story with more to unfold.

In France

Tony Musulin

Meanwhile, in the wonderful town of Lyon, a French Loomis security guard driver waited until his co-workers entered a bank, then took off in the truck with €11,000,000. Police searched his flat, finding the cupboard bare– literally. Not even bedsheets were present.

At least this theft was non-violent. In the past, robbers used explosives and even rocket grenade launchers to attack armoured car vehicles. Now, there’s a fan club dedicated to the crook, Tony Musulin. This Photoshopped poster says "Arrest me… if you can!"

It’s been a great seven days! As the French say, "Bon weekend." (Yes, they really do say that.)